Even Evil Men Have Hobbies
by Jelfia Maleak
Summary: Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff are Shield's top assassins, see some of the mission they have gone on. The mission where they used the targets hobbies against them. Because even evil men (and women) have hobbies. [note: chapter 1 reload added some stuff to the mission briefing. ]
1. Con

Convention

The man sitting at the table calmly shuffling cards while watching the crowed was known by many names: Clint Barton, Hawkeye, That Damn Agent, currently he was Jimmy Hawkins; a thirty two year old booking clerk and gamer geek.

Clint watch from the corner of his eye as a man dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt saw him, then lean down to whisper in a woman's ear. Her head whipped around, her face lit up and she made a beeline for Clint dragging the man with her.

"Sir, sorry to bother you, but your costume is wicked awesome, can I get a picture with you." The woman asked eagerly, her husband (Clint saw the matching rings on their hands.) rolled his eyes and sighed good naturedly.

Clint smiled and stood up next the woman, cocking his head so the hood covered his eyes, his arms crossing in front of his chest two plastic toy assassin blades shooting up from the gauntlets on his arms.

"Shiny, those are better than mine. Did you buy them or make them?" the woman asked trying to get a better look at his gauntlets. Her own Assassin outfit looked more like a Late Victorian era to his Italian Renaissance era.

"I have some friends that made them for me." Clint chuckled as she held her own hand down and out. Her husband snapped the picture and then dragged her off before she would bother Clint any more as she attempted to recreate his gauntlet mechanism in her head. Clint sat back down and went back to watching the crowed chuckling under his breath at some of the other people's costumes. He smiled as his partner sprawled in the chair across from him. She was also known by many names, Natasha Romanoff, The Black Widow, the Scary Half of Strike Team Delta, or as she was currently known Virginia Alianovna; twenty eight year old nurse, and superhero geek. She was dress up as... herself. The only difference in her 'workday' outfit and her 'con' outfit was the con one had cheap plastic guns stuck in the holster. (Ops went ballistic when they realized that their two assassins were 'fitting in' at the con by going as assassins.)

Clint held up the cards "Egyptian rat or durak?"

"Durak." She replied winking at a group of males, who looked to be about fifteen, that were elbowing each towards her. Clint dealt out the hands and the two got down to playing the card game. Seeming to ignore everything around them.

"_You deliver the gift?" _Clint asked quietly in Russian. She nodded as she played a card down smiling viciously.

"I win." She pursued her lips "The booth in the far left corner has Captain America issues number 132, and you can get the artist to sign it at two thirty." She raised her eyebrow at Clint.

"Seem a lot for only losing one hand. I'll get it for you this time, since I missed your birthday." Clint replied working in the code for understanding the new intel that was providing. Natasha waved him off then started dealing herself a solitary game.

Clint made his way first to pick up the comic then to the table to have it signed. The target was gushing to the artist and had a stack of comic to get signed. Clint carefully twisted the ring the way R and D had shown him to pop out the tiny needle, he 'tripped' bumping into the target catching the guy by the arm to keep him from falling over.

"Sorry," Clint released the guy who eyed Clint warily as his bodyguards moved forward. Clint eyed the bodyguards and backed up "Sorry, s..sorry the boots are a little big I keep tripping in them." He blurted out. The Target turned back to the artist and picked up his comic and stalked out.

Clint stepped forward "My friend had to work today and couldn't come, can you sign it to Phil? He is a huge fan of your work and of Captain America."

"Sure." Replied the artist his voice gravelly with age, he handing back the comic "There you go." Clint nodded his thanks and headed out, Natasha falling in step next to him.

"I should have had him sign it to Steve instead, though on second thought it would have been odd."

"Brat.*" She muttered.

"I never can tell are you saying brother in Russian or brat in American?"

"Khuy tebe!*" She replied as they passed an ambulance pulling into the convention center parking lot.

**Mission 1728-ELI-6**: **Eliminate - Completed - Successful **(see attached after action reports 16.a)

Classified: level 6

**Target:** Dante Acevedo (attached images files 1 thru 78, intel document forms 135.g, 27.c, 52, and 62.a3.)

**Time Frame:** P3, multiple possible location for target take down.

**Reason:** Drug Trafficking (attached form ), Weapon Trafficking (attached form and ), Human trafficking, (attached form )

**Assigned to**: Strike Team Delta, Agent Sitwell, handler.

**Intel Notes:** Target too paranoid for a sniper kill, only time guard is loosened is once Target is inside if a comic conviction or his home, used Targets convention attending hobby as a way to get in close to Target, to used a dual chemical poison that simulating an aneurysm.

**After Action notes:** Clean kill. No collateral damaged**. -Sitwell**

LOVED THIS MISSION! Suggest a mission to COMICON next! - Barton

p.s. i take back all the mean things i have said about Intel.

Mission completed, efficiently. - Romanoff

***the end****

*Brat - look it up in Google translate. type brother in english and translated to Russian, then click on the audio listen. :)

*Khuy tebe! - basically fuck you.

I apologized for my Russian, it is Google translate and youswear .com website.

please note I spelt both phonically with english letters.


	2. Camping

_Camping._

Clint raced around the Jeep opening her door he held out a hand to help Natasha down. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek as she stepped out of the car. Clint reached down and pulled out a green hiking bag he easily tossed on his shoulders.

"So _Mrs. Rasmussen_ which trail should we take?" Clint asked wrapping an arm around Tasha's waist. She stood looking down at her small paper map then up at the big trail map. They both glanced over as two men and a woman came down the trail. The woman smiled at them then helped unhook the bicycles from the tree.

"This one seem the best one." Tasha smiled up at Clint and pointed at one.

"Excellent choice, I will make an outdoors woman out of you yet!" Clint laughed as they started up the hill. They heard chuckles from the bicyclist as they left.

The two "newlyweds" hiked up and around the trail. When they got to the top of the small mountain (some might call a big hill) and had a great view of the valley Clint nudged Tasha and pointed his chin down animal game trail that followed the ridge away from the marked human trail. Tasha nodded and let him lead. Neither spoke a word as they hiked till they would not be seen from the human trail. Clint kneeled down and pulled out a case from his hiking bag and quickly put together his sniper rifle. He then glared down at the slate before carefully lying prone on the ground. He wiggled slightly before looking down the sight. Tasha pulled out a pair of binoculars the two sat quietly waiting for the target.

An older lady, athlete with a hint of motherly curves to her body. Her white hair pinned back in a bun. She waved to the kids at one of the campsites as she made her way to her own tent.

"Target spotted, one o'clock at noted campsite. Confirm." Clint stated quietly, his voice not even disturbing the birds nearby.

"Confirm, one o'clock, still green." Tasha replied in the same tone. Nothing happened Tasha glanced over at Clint,

"Hawkeye, take out the target." She stated.

"There are kids two campsites down what if they see?" Clint asked his voice slightly forlorn.

"And what do we tell the parents of the kids that will disappear in a week when the Target send her mercenaries to the nearest towns. That's over a thousand children, not counting the parents that don't get knocked out with the gas, Clint do it."

There was a quiet pop from the sniper rifle.

"Call it in Tasha." Clint sat up and started breaking apart his gun. Tasha patted him on the back and called Sitwell.

"I need a vacation." Clint murmured picking up his pack.

"Sitwell will notify the cops when we are out of the park. To check her tent." Tasha murmured as she dredged up the happy go lucky newlywed face.

Clint smiled slightly. "Grazie, sei il migliore.*"

**Mission 352a27-ELI-6:** Eliminated - Completed - Successful (see attached after action reports 16.a)

**Classified:** level 6

**Target:** Lisa Harriet Warner

(attached images files 1 thru 327, intel document forms 135.g, 8C5, 27.c, and 62.a3.)

**Time Frame: **ASAP-P1 current location known. Less than two weeks left at current location.

**Reason:** Human trafficking, (attached form )

Drug Trafficking (attached form ),

**Assigned to:** Strike Team Delta, Primary Target. Squad Alpha and Gamma secondary target, Warner's mercenaries. Agent Sitwell, handler, secondary handler of Squad Alpha and Gamma.

**Intel Notes:** Target spends time camping then a month later all children in any and all nearby towns disappear. Squad Alpha and Gamma are ready to take out Ms. Warner's mercenary. Ms. Warner must be taking out first. Suggest taking her out while she is camping. See attached file 8C5 of current location.

**After Action Notes:** Clean kill. Confirmed no witness.**-Sitwell**

Target neutralized - Barton

Mission completed, efficiently. - Romanoff

Italian = "Thanks, you're the best."


End file.
